I took a hiatus from writing here at Grey Matter Life that wasn’t planned. We took a 5 week road trip this summer and I wrote about it over here, school started and life has been a little busy to say the least. Writing didn’t happen although I’ve had plenty to say. Just after the … Continue reading
It was a great pace. A fucking awesome pace… I was hauling ass. Paul and I had set out for a run with Harper in the Jogger this afternoon and I took off and didn’t stop to look back. No music. I never run with no music. Only my thoughts and a distinct, almost painful … Continue reading
I had an MRI Tuesday; a routine, scheduled three-month magical magnetic adventure that’s become a routine event in our lives while simultaneously challenging our emotional and mental stability at every turn. It isn’t easy for anyone and it’s become apparent how challenging it is for the kiddos. They are getting older and have become more … Continue reading
It matters to me that you look at my chart before you walk into the room. I appreciate that you use my name and look me in the eyes. You remember my sense of humor, how many children I have and that I am a writer. I’m a frequent flier MRI patient and you know … Continue reading
Homemade hamburger buns, organic beef burgers hot off the grill, a heaping bowl of fruit and sides of milk; it was an ordinary Tuesday night dinner. Maybe it’s our new farm table. Maybe it’s how we’ve conceived a new evening routine, eating later and accommodating Paul’s long days. Whatever it is, it’s working. We are more spiritual … Continue reading
Good news today… The Piece of Shit has been behaving itself since we last gave it a look. We are so pleased that it is being so cooperative. My MRI this morning revealed two very important things. One… there has been no tumor growth. Two… my brain is still in there. Whew! What a relief. … Continue reading
Please… Don’t tell us not to worry and don’t tell us it will be fine. Don’t tell us “you just know it will be ok” and don’t tell us not to stress out. Please don’t confuse our anxiety right now with desperation. Our anxiety appreciates your support over your pity. We’ve been down this road, running this fucking MRI marathon, for … Continue reading
I resisted and I ignored. Aside from the label on the back of my license with my diagnosis, doctor’s name, contact info and Paul’s cell, I couldn’t bring myself to bend further and fully embrace the reality of how my life had changed. I knew the risks and I knew I was stupid. I know … Continue reading
I remember clear blue skies, warm air and feeling carefree. I remember having no fear. I remember the patients in the waiting room and the litany of questions from the PA as he looked at my scans. I remember feeling ambivalent and wondering why I needed to be there. I remember the surgeon. I remember … Continue reading
Just in case you missed the news, May is Brain Tumor Awareness month. Like other patients facing cancers, horrid and catastrophic diseases who have months of awareness, the brain tumor community has carved out our own 31 days on the schedule too. So here we are… May 1, 2012. 30 more days to go. Rather than spending a month spewing out facts, figures, emerging research and statistics, I’d … Continue reading
We’re all waiting for something. Whether banal or earth shattering, each something we wait for means something meaningful to each of us. If there’s one thing I’ve learned writing this blog, it’s that while I write for me and my family, I’ve come to appreciate that what I write affects others. If I’m feeling something, … Continue reading
“Piece of shit is not there.” For those who may not follow or need a translation, this means that my MRI today was clean. It also means that my medical team shares and appreicates my sense of humor which is as equally wonderful as the six words above. Onward we go back into our life in-between and we thank you for all your support! … Continue reading
I took a few hours today and went for a long, long, long walk. With Harper bundled in her stroller, music playing in my ears and a longing to get out and get away, the two of us fled the grind of the suburban landscape. Friday can’t come soon enough. The weight of the count … Continue reading
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