We lay face to face in her dimly lit room. Her breath is sweet and blue eyes piercing through me as her hand gently caresses my face. The corners of her lips turn upward into a smile. Barely audible, she speaks. Mommy, I love you. Mommy, you are so beautiful. My heart stops, I hold … Continue reading
Thank you. Let me introduce myself. I am “That Mom”, maybe not the mom you are used to. I am “That Mom”. The one who trusts you and believes in you. “That Mom”; the one who doesn’t need her hand held or reassurance that you are doing the best for Tucker. I’m “That Mom” who … Continue reading
It was a great pace. A fucking awesome pace… I was hauling ass. Paul and I had set out for a run with Harper in the Jogger this afternoon and I took off and didn’t stop to look back. No music. I never run with no music. Only my thoughts and a distinct, almost painful … Continue reading
A monumental event is approaching in our lives, and for so many reasons, it’s hard to believe it’s looming on the horizon. Seven years ago today, a day remarkably similar to today with clear blue skies, heat and humidity, I became a patient. I was 32. At 32 I quietly and privately resolved, against the … Continue reading
With elementary school in the rear view mirror and middle school on the horizon in August, I am struck by the journey we’ve had. We started elementary school together, like I’d imagine most families do; navigating bus schedules, school activities, classroom supply lists, hoping friends would be made and that Tucker would have a zest … Continue reading
Homemade hamburger buns, organic beef burgers hot off the grill, a heaping bowl of fruit and sides of milk; it was an ordinary Tuesday night dinner. Maybe it’s our new farm table. Maybe it’s how we’ve conceived a new evening routine, eating later and accommodating Paul’s long days. Whatever it is, it’s working. We are more spiritual … Continue reading
It’s been a long break from writing. When my own mother wants to know why I haven’t written, you know it’s been a long time. Frankly, I haven’t quite known where to start and how to begin. Life has been chaotic, tumultuous and riddled with ups and downs since my last post in January. Yet, … Continue reading
In the early hours of the morning, I wake with an overwhelming weight upon me. Aside from the 80 pound lab that snuck into bed and is found sleeping on my legs, it’s the weight of motherhood and parenting that blankets and envelops me. A seasoned veteran by now with three children, I’ve got years of experience … Continue reading
I made it through to the other side of August and we welcome with open arms September. With a promise of cooler temperatures, college football and baseball for the boys, September could not have arrived sooner. The emotional roller coaster continues and we continue along for the ride. Harper is now a “failure to thrive” … Continue reading
They announced this weekend from the back of the car that they needed to make a commercial. People, they said, needed to know and hear what they had to say about donating to fund brain tumor research. More people needed to support our team Babes with Brains and the Race for Research. Apparently from the … Continue reading
I spent a few hours sitting under a tree with Harper this afternoon watching the boys help Paul wash our cars. “Be careful! Don’t get that soap in your eyes, it may kill you!!!” Said the dramatic one with authority. Always so over the top I thought as I passed a Cheerio to Harper. … Continue reading
Each of our fingerprints are unique. Personal mini artworks we leave behind as lasting, important markings and reminders of who we are. I’ve had the privilege this past year to re-connect with another college friend. It’s been amazing to catch up and summarize what’s happened in our lives over the past 17 years since we … Continue reading
I’ve been up at some point in the middle of the night nearly every night since becoming a mother almost 9 years ago. Whether it’s a noise, crying child, dog walking through the house with tags jingling, storms rumbling in the distance or sirens, it’s generally my ears that hear it all first. A few … Continue reading
GREY MATTER LIFE 