Embracing Change

Embracing Change

Everything changes with a cancer diagnosis. Everything. In the fight to survive you submit to a new life with days spent bouncing between specialists, oncologists, labs and embracing the intimate relationship you’ve formed with your local pharmacist. You follow protocols, treatment plans, medication regimes and do your best to accept the small and enormous life … Continue reading

There Is Always Hope

There Is Always Hope

The missed call had come into Paul’s phone around 6pm last night. He walked into the kitchen that had begun to fill with friends, holding his phone with fear and shock all over his face. “A Dr. Baskin, Medical Director at Aetna, left a voicemail and wants to talk with you.” Silence and shock blanketed … Continue reading

WE NEED YOUR HELP! Proton Therapy Insurance Update

I know many of you have been asking for an update on where we stand with what method of radiation treatment Aetna (our insurance) will cover. Every member of my esteemed and world respected medical team supports and believes that I am an ideal candidate for Proton Therapy rather than traditional Radiation Therapy in order … Continue reading

I Do

I Do

When we were babies, we said I do in a small historic chapel in front of 98 close family and friends. It was 10.16.1999. We only conceptually understood the depth of the vows we were to take and at 25 and 26 life was simple, fun and we were in love. We had barely experienced … Continue reading

One Day At A Time

One Day At A Time

It’s been about a week since I last updated. So let me take a moment and fill you in on what we and I’ve been up to. Overall, sleeping is my primary job and I am really good at it. Essentially, I’m a 44 year old infant.  SUNDAY: We had friends over, watched football, ate some … Continue reading

Friday Night Lights

Friday Night Lights

I was offered an opportunity early this week to address the players and coaches at the Chattahoochee HS Varsity football pre-game dinner. What ordinarily would have been an easy task; gather my thoughts and constrct a speech, proved to be very challenging. While it was not difficult to shape a story line and remarks that … Continue reading

When a hug changes lives.

When a hug changes lives.

As I walked into the operating room at Mt. Sinai two weeks ago I politely deferred musical choices on Pandora to the collective preferences of those in the room. I climbed up onto the OR table and got strapped down as the anesthesiologist began the first IV in my left hand and administered a dose … Continue reading

Food is Love

Food is Love

I have not had a huge appetite in the past few weeks.. vastly different from ten years ago, but nevertheless, I am the sure the level of stress has contributed to my significantly diminished desire to eat.  However, I do love food and I love even more the magic that happens in your kitchen and … Continue reading

Making A Plan

Making A Plan

Paul and I kicked the kids out of the kitchen last night and shuffled them upstairs so we could spend time on speakerphone with Costas talking pathology and plans. The entirety of pathology, genetics, MGMT and other markers are still about another week to 10 days out. What we do know is promising. The piece … Continue reading

Home. Where Mom is.

Home. Where Mom is.

Just before 9 pm last night, the youngest of our family tore across the dew soaked grass with a sequel into my arms. Tucker followed closely behind and I melted into his lanky broad shoulders as he wrapped himself around me and repeated over and over how much he missed me.  Tears welled as Paul … Continue reading

Slay Sunday

Slay Sunday

Last night was rough again. Dreams are wild, disconnected from reality and oddly entertaining and so clearly representative of the intensity of my anxiety, stress, exhaustion and healing that is exploding throughout my brain. It is comforting to wake in the middle of the night with Karen sleeping in the bed across from me. A … Continue reading

Front Porch Friday

I’ve finally reached a monumental medication dosage right of passage. I’m down to two a two steroid dose per whatever hours (I’m not supposed to be responsible enough to know all the timing details.” All I know is that the horrid, yet helpful steroids are phasing out and will soon be purged from our daily … Continue reading