Sizing Up

Sizing Up

I walked in for my noon appointment in jeans I’d thrown on at 6:30am and a tank top and light pullover sweatshirt I slept in the night before. A mom version of the walk of shame except now it is around town and not across campus carrying shoes. She only had 4 of the 8 … Continue reading

Three Words

Three Words

It matters to me that you look at my chart before you walk into the room. I appreciate that you use my name and look me in the eyes. You remember my sense of humor, how many children I have and that I am a writer. I’m a frequent flier MRI patient and you know … Continue reading

Disconnected

Disconnected

I will be honest here. It’s what I have committed to do in my writing and it’s been honesty that has somehow always served to heal. This is a lonely journey and it has been lonely for the past six years. The brain tumor, the piece of shit, the cancer, and the disease… all of … Continue reading

Prayers at Ten

Prayers at Ten

Homemade hamburger buns, organic beef burgers hot off the grill, a heaping bowl of fruit and sides of milk; it was an ordinary Tuesday night dinner. Maybe it’s our new farm table. Maybe it’s how we’ve conceived a new evening routine, eating later and accommodating Paul’s long days. Whatever it is, it’s working. We are more spiritual … Continue reading

Finding Their Voice

Finding Their Voice

It’s been a long break from writing. When my own mother wants to know why I haven’t written, you know it’s been a long time. Frankly, I haven’t quite known where to start and how to begin. Life has been chaotic, tumultuous and riddled with ups and downs since my last post in January. Yet, … Continue reading

Weighted Blanket of Motherhood

Weighted Blanket of Motherhood

In the early hours of the morning, I wake with an overwhelming weight upon me. Aside from the 80 pound lab that snuck into bed and is found sleeping on my legs, it’s the weight of motherhood and parenting that blankets and envelops me. A seasoned veteran by now with three children, I’ve got years of experience … Continue reading

Resolve

Resolve

May the New Year bring you more of what you need and leave you grateful for what you have. Life is complicated, chaotic and overflowing with an abundance of greatness and grit. I begin another year with the same resolution as years past. To remain resolute in our resolve to live life to its fullest, … Continue reading

The Gratitude Project

The Gratitude Project

It’s amazing what happens when you sit in carpool. What began as a simple idea to commit once again to a daily photo challenge, has grown into much, much more. As I sat in my car Friday afternoon, Harper fussy and fidgety in her car seat, I stared up at the contrast between the changing … Continue reading

Clean, Clear & Stable

Clean, Clear & Stable

Good news today… The Piece of Shit has been behaving itself since we last gave it a look. We are so pleased that it is being so cooperative. My MRI this morning revealed two very important things. One… there has been no tumor growth. Two… my brain is still in there. Whew! What a relief. … Continue reading

Reflecting On Our Reality

Reflecting On Our Reality

Please… Don’t tell us not to worry and don’t tell us it will be fine. Don’t tell us “you just know it will be ok” and don’t tell us not to stress out. Please don’t confuse our anxiety right now with desperation. Our anxiety appreciates your support over your pity. We’ve been down this road, running this fucking MRI marathon, for … Continue reading

Measure of Marriage

Measure of Marriage

For the joy and for the pain…  For the laughter and the tears… For the celebrations and the disappointments… For the wins and the losses… For the joy and the sorrow… For the fights and the forgiveness… For the challenges and perspective… For the resolve and the respect… For the patience… For the loyalty and … Continue reading

The Smallest Gifts

The Smallest Gifts

Most moments in life end up being remembered and defined by the smallest gestures, moments and things. 18 years ago, in a hospital in Lafayette, Indiana, I awoke in a post surgical recovery room disoriented, confused, scared and alone. What had been scheduled as a minor out-patient procedure turned into a four-day hospital stay after a … Continue reading