I took a few hours today and went for a long, long, long walk. With Harper bundled in her stroller, music playing in my ears and a longing to get out and get away, the two of us fled the grind of the suburban landscape.
Friday can’t come soon enough. The weight of the count down of the remaining days of our life between MRI’s is heavy and the emotional stress has been a challenge to bear.
We walked and walked.
I took stock of the raw beauty of our surroundings. I admired deer across the creek, turtles sunning themselves on logs and squirrels fleeing from the sound of the stroller wheels. A great deal of time was spent looking up and taking in the landscape.
Eventually I arrived back at that emotional place where calm had set in and peace had settled into my soul.
I reminded myself that I don’t get a say in whether the piece of shit in my head has been misbehaving or not. Thumbs up or thumbs down, it is what it is and I’m not in control of this.
A very comforting and calming place to be back in.
It took a few hours walking to rediscover that emotional place, my comfort zone, and remind myself that worrying about what you can’t control is an epic waste of time.
Life is better spent living not worrying.