You, yes you. You are a troll in Europe, Asia, South America, across the world, in my own country and miles from my front door. I’m addressing you; however I am doubtful you are listening.
It was never a conversation you were looking to have.
You never intended to have a rational dialogue.
With fingers raw with anger as you hunt and peck letters on your keyboard, I have heard you for years.
Anonymous, vague usernames and boldly emblazoned with what I imagine are your real names, you appear to have taken significant effort in compiling your messages.
It must be awesome living in your world. Being you must be very fulfilling and rewarding and I can only imagine the envy of those around you. I’m curious how you balance it all? How is that you have become an authority on so, so much?
Are you a parent? Are you a cancer patient? Do you have a brain tumor? Do you run a business? Are you married? Do you advocate for others? Are you a writer? How about a photographer? Do you carve out time to support others? Do you listen? Do you have a sense of humor?
I assume you are all of the above since you’ve read my blog and have so frequently commented.
I assume you understand that I have become a stronger, more resilient person because of you. Thank YOU. Thank you.
You have told me so much, and it has all made a difference. I think others may benefit from the wisdom you shared with me; you know all the wisdom that made me stronger and more resilient. This kind of wisdom, your kind of wisdom…
I’m selfish. I don’t like my children. I am wasting time volunteering at the hospital with strangers.
I should be in clinical trials. I should be treated at a different hospital. I need different doctors. I should not have had surgery. I am stupid for not electing to have radiation.
I should just die. I’m a bitch.
I did not deserve to have Harper. I should not have had Harper. I had Harper for media attention. I am stupid.
My children deserve better. I don’t deserve respect. I make risky decisions. I make selfish decisions.
I have a limited time to live. I don’t like spending time with my children. Nobody likes me.
It may be difficult to understand, after all, you clearly put such effort into each and every message you sent, however, I deleted them.
I deleted each and every of your genuinely hateful, hurtful, and ignorant, misinformed and misplaced comments and messages.
Try not to get angry. As ugly and hate filled as they each were, your messages did have an impact, albeit likely not the impact you were hoping for.
As exhausted as I am by your ignorance and hate, I am thriving and LIVING with an inner fire in all aspects of my life. A life you very clearly know nothing about.
I never asked you for advice, input, your suggestions or observations. You are certainly welcome to respectfully disagree with anything, but let’s be clear; you have zero impact on how I live and what I do. I OWN that and it’s not negotiable.
So, while I am pretty sure you are not listening. I have one final message.
Fuck you, thank you and my delete button still works.