The Lost Message

The Lost Message

This journey is hell. I will not portent to speak for all cancer patients. I can only speak for myself. I do not need your sympathy. I would appreciate your compassion. With that said… Sure, go ahead… Post a random post on FB that makes your friends wonder. Change your profile picture, buy a pink … Continue reading

Let Me Introduce You To What Remains

Let Me Introduce You To What Remains

8 years, nearly to date, to when we first learned about the Piece of Shit, life today bears little resemblance to what we knew. Virtually everything has changed as has how others perceive and define us. There has been change. Heaping spoonfuls for the better and a pinch of change for the worse. We’ve shuffled, … Continue reading

This is…

This is…

  39 two days in the same pajamas a napping, sick, two-year old an only child no shower yet (again) six days before Christmas life a mother of three children tired a history major laughter a brain tumor patient honest a self-portrait transparent a wife & partner grateful contemplating dinner tonight reflective a friend no … Continue reading

Leap of Faith

Leap of Faith

I had an MRI Tuesday; a routine, scheduled three-month magical magnetic adventure that’s become a routine event in our lives while simultaneously challenging our emotional and mental stability at every turn. It isn’t easy for anyone and it’s become apparent how challenging it is for the kiddos. They are getting older and have become more … Continue reading

Sizing Up

Sizing Up

I walked in for my noon appointment in jeans I’d thrown on at 6:30am and a tank top and light pullover sweatshirt I slept in the night before. A mom version of the walk of shame except now it is around town and not across campus carrying shoes. She only had 4 of the 8 … Continue reading

Three Words

Three Words

It matters to me that you look at my chart before you walk into the room. I appreciate that you use my name and look me in the eyes. You remember my sense of humor, how many children I have and that I am a writer. I’m a frequent flier MRI patient and you know … Continue reading

Disconnected

Disconnected

I will be honest here. It’s what I have committed to do in my writing and it’s been honesty that has somehow always served to heal. This is a lonely journey and it has been lonely for the past six years. The brain tumor, the piece of shit, the cancer, and the disease… all of … Continue reading

Prayers at Ten

Prayers at Ten

Homemade hamburger buns, organic beef burgers hot off the grill, a heaping bowl of fruit and sides of milk; it was an ordinary Tuesday night dinner. Maybe it’s our new farm table. Maybe it’s how we’ve conceived a new evening routine, eating later and accommodating Paul’s long days. Whatever it is, it’s working. We are more spiritual … Continue reading

Finding Their Voice

Finding Their Voice

It’s been a long break from writing. When my own mother wants to know why I haven’t written, you know it’s been a long time. Frankly, I haven’t quite known where to start and how to begin. Life has been chaotic, tumultuous and riddled with ups and downs since my last post in January. Yet, … Continue reading

Weighted Blanket of Motherhood

Weighted Blanket of Motherhood

In the early hours of the morning, I wake with an overwhelming weight upon me. Aside from the 80 pound lab that snuck into bed and is found sleeping on my legs, it’s the weight of motherhood and parenting that blankets and envelops me. A seasoned veteran by now with three children, I’ve got years of experience … Continue reading

Resolve

Resolve

May the New Year bring you more of what you need and leave you grateful for what you have. Life is complicated, chaotic and overflowing with an abundance of greatness and grit. I begin another year with the same resolution as years past. To remain resolute in our resolve to live life to its fullest, … Continue reading

The Gratitude Project

The Gratitude Project

It’s amazing what happens when you sit in carpool. What began as a simple idea to commit once again to a daily photo challenge, has grown into much, much more. As I sat in my car Friday afternoon, Harper fussy and fidgety in her car seat, I stared up at the contrast between the changing … Continue reading