GREY MATTER LIFE

Well, HELLO! Did you think I dropped off the face of the earth since I’ve been radio silent around here?

Truth be told I feel like I dropped off the edge myself. I finally got here and am re-familiarizing myself with the second floor of my house, my office and my computer.  

Just as disorganized as it was when I sat here last, my piles and disorganization are a calming force. It feels great to sit here in front of my computer pecking away, wearing my PJ’s, aka sweats that double as my day wear lately, iTunes jamming and Harper hanging out next to me grunting like a Billy Goat.

Simply lovely and picture perfect if you ask me. No glamour shots or false pretense about claiming all this is easy. Just a raw glimpse into how perfect being imperfect and chaotic is.   

Our life has turned into a chaotic circus with me running the show as a misfit ringleader. I hope this is not going to last for years, but maybe just a mere few months, yet either way it couldn’t be better. Frankly, since I can’t remember too well yesterday or three hours ago, I’m sticking with “couldn’t be better”. It works and keeps me moving ahead at 4am.  

So what’s this chaotic circus all about you ask?  

My beloved Dyson vacuum, which gets abused as often as my washer/dryer and dishwasher, is I fear, on its deathbed. Making a deathly high-pitched buzz when it’s running, I think it’s finally taken to protesting the job of cleaning up after three dogs and two boys who bring enough dirt into the house to rival a construction site.

Putting it to work means listening to not only the high-pitched buzz, but two 85lb labs howling in concert as I vacuum.  I should probably stick with the Swiffer, it’s much quieter. 

A black bear has been spotted a few miles from our house licking up drippings off outdoor grills and hanging out on decks. Simply perfect if you ask me. I have that feeling. That feeling that this precious creature will come visit us. Why not? It probably senses we need the extra excitement around here and what bear wouldn’t want to find its way to our crazy chaotic circus? I can just hear it now…

Hey mom… We’re going out to play secret agent, ride bikes and share snacks with the bear in the front yard. Ok? Mom… did you hear us?  

Please keep away Mr. Bear. Please. I don’t need your level of chaos around these parts.  

Carpool, (aka afternoon Hell), has been an utter disaster.

Two boys at two different schools and no bus at either school spells out nothing but chaos and near mental breakdowns some days.  

Trust me, if there was a way to carpool with another family, I would. Schedule conflicts as well as numerous other factors makes sharing carpool impossible. Spare me your suggestions, trust me, I’ve considered them all.

So, you’ll find me praying each day as I sit in my car at school #1.  

Arriving some days 30 minutes prior to dismissal and waiting at least another 30 minutes crawling through the lot until I finally take possession of child #1. I’m praying my car will not overheat, the battery doesn’t die or some other horrid fate does not befall my car as it has to so many other cars everyday.  The carnage of dead cars littering the parking lot and carpool line haunts me daily.

I pray I’ll make it through the carpool line without a crying baby that suddenly needs to nurse, crying myself and be able to safely make it across town to collect child #2 before I’m fined for being late.  

I attempt all this without swearing like a trucker and exhibiting carpool road rage as I watch cars die in line, parents fail to pull out of line when their children don’t come out and allow the rest of us to move ahead, the clock ticks minutes off at a ridiculous pace and my car begins to overheat and the AC starts to warm up and tears well up in my eyes from stress.  Well, I swear a little bit… oops.

Oy vey!  

On the bright side, both boys love school, are settled in and adjusting like champs in their respective new schools. God Bless! There’s always an upside. I can swallow the chaos and carpool Hell as long as they’re happy and thriving.  

You may find me still wearing my PJ’s (all-purpose sweats), not necessarily freshly showered, a little spit up on my shoulder and ravenously drinking water and stuffing my face in carpool with any food I can get my hands on in my purse so I can keep up my milk farming production, but this misfit circus ringleader is patting herself on the shoulder for nearly surviving another week.

Thumbs up folks.

I’m ready to celebrate the weekend in whatever form that comes in. Sleeping isn’t in the cards, but confidence is high that “wine in the yard” as my new neighbor Brigid termed it this morning, will be had later today as we watch our children play and ride bikes. Good times!    

Cheers to Friday. Cheers to wine in the yard. Cheers to all you crazy, chaotic and awesome circus ringleaders out there who are running your own rat race along with me. Cheers to survival of all kinds and cheers to happiness. Cheers to our beautiful, unique, fabulous, crazy and perfect chaos. Cheers to our chaotic circus that has set up a show in our house.

The Crew

"Listen to Mommy! Stay away from Bears!"

"Look Mom... Clean Hands!" Love me some dirty boys! The Dyson is not so fond of the dirt anymore.