GREY MATTER LIFE

It never ceases to amaze me what comes out of people’s mouths. Call me oversensitive or cynical after everything we’ve been through, but at least I own my feelings.  

I’ve covered a select few of these treasured gems in I Declare! and now after coming clean with my pregnancy and the joy and gift of welcoming a new member of our family this summer, the hits keep coming.

So, I’m curious and I wonder. Why would anyone find it appropriate among other things, to ask with eyes wide open…

Was this a surprise? Wow! Was this a planned pregnancy?

My mind is still spinning and as I attempt to stop putting my hand to forehead, I can’t help but wonder… Are you kidding me?

First off, let me set the record straight. We are thrilled, blessed and overjoyed.

For friends and family and those who follow the blog, it’s no secret that the past few years have been one hell of an adventure. It’s been hard to miss the ups and downs we’ve been through as well as the emotional rollercoaster I’ve touched upon here and there about our desire to have a third child.

Brain tumor or not, chaotic few years or not, stability or not, or whatever event or emotion in life or not, I’ll never accept that those questions from those outside of our inner circle of family and close friends are appropriate. Nor do I feel as if we need to further explain ourselves after this.

So, don’t be surprised if my response to you with a smile is,

Does it make a difference?

What has been unexpected is that for the first time in longer than I can remember, I feel a tremendous sense of peace and calm.

From the moment I saw the plethora of pink lines on the pregnancy test, the burden I’ve carried for years fearing the unknowns of my diagnosis was lifted.

We’ve been blessed with a priceless gift. A gift that’s provided us with an unexpected and overwhelming sense of freedom. A gift that has allowed us to step forward and out from under the veil of fear.

We’re living our lives, moving forward and we feel very blessed.

What was unexpected was how our baby, who has months before making an appearance, has provided a perspective on life and on moving forward that until now we’d been unable to make entirely clear for ourselves.

I believe I’ve said enough but I have to ask…

Do asking these questions, aside from empty curiosity, really make a difference to you?