Drops of Rain & Drops of Tears

The rain is ruining my life; it gives me headaches and makes me feel like crap. Since the surgery, any rainy day has brought a headache, but they’ve been a day here a day there and it’s all been manageable and easily tolerated.  

We’re pushing over a month of more rain than sun and my head has thrown up the white flag and my morale has surrendered. Sitting in my car at a stoplight Thursday, it started pouring again.  Despair overwhelmed me. I felt hopeless as I put my throbbing and aching head on the steering wheel and cried. Feeling pitiful and pathetic the light turned green and I drove home and emailed my doctor to get some meds. My headache tapered off with the pain meds, but reared its ugly head Friday morning and got worse.

So, yesterday, our 10th wedding anniversary, I could barely function.  Taking Cooper to the Eye Dr in the morning and picking out his glasses (stay tuned for that story), taking Tucker for his Flu Mist after school and then finally heading home, I was just about to come apart at the seams. I was in bed at 5 and in as much pain as I was in the ICU. The worst of it all, beyond the pain, was that I started crying in front of the kids and then they started crying because I was crying. There is nothing worse than seeing your kids crying because they are freaked out that you are crying.  There is no pain worse than that.  

My poor Paul celebrated our 10 Year Anniversary alone. Eating dinner without me, instead eating with the boys watching Ice Age, munching on popcorn and then having a camp out in Tucker’s room while I quietly spent the night secluded in our room wondering, pleading for the nightmare to end. Needless to say, I think mother nature owes us more than a few sunny days. That bitch owes us a do-over of our anniversary thank you very much!    

My headache has finally subsided to a manageable level, with the help of the meds, and I am exhausted. Totally beaten down, exhausted, miserable and pleading for the sun to come out, I need a break.  I hear we’re due for sun starting tomorrow until Friday… I’ll believe it when I see it.  Maybe drought isn’t so bad after all…

3 thoughts on “Drops of Rain & Drops of Tears

  1. oh, jen… i am so sorry. you deserve so much better than this. you’ve been so stoic and positive… i really don’t know how you’ve managed to put a smile on your face at all. just know that all your friends and family are SO behind you. doesn’t make the pain any less, i know, but nice to know that everyone is sharing a small slice of it with you.

    take care and try to enjoy any small sunny day that comes your way. every day that it rains, i’ll think of you and any sunny day will remind me that if you have the same sun, you’re feeling better.

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